Do you feel that when you speak your words just drift into some magic void and off to some distant land?
Are you left frustrated when you ask something and get no reply?
Do you sometimes think you are speaking a foreign language?
Well it may be that your audience is just rude, or it may be that they need a little help to understand what you are asking them. We say we speak a language, for example English, but the subtle messages we send when we speak can be saying a lot more.
So what can you do to make yourself heard?
Firstly, stop shouting. It is not always true that he who shouts loudest gets heard. Often if the voice is too persistent it simply makes us screen it out. We turn off and the message is even harder to get across.
Instead we must talk smarter. Just like working smarter or having smart goals speaking smarter will help you to get your message across effectively and make your communication smoother. This is turn, makes your life and relationships that much smoother too.
The first step when your communication isn’t working is become silent. If you just continue shouting, then try to change tactic, you may already have been tuned out. In Danish the word for silent is stille. So become still, in your mind and in your motion. Let yourself fully align with what it is you want from this situation, be it the washing up done by the children, or a colleague to really understand why you want their reports on time.
So now focus on the Message. What exactly do you want them to do and why? If you are not clear, then they are not going to respond in the way you need them to. There are some great techniques to help you formulate the message, you can find them on the web or in the “How to write to be Heard” course.
Articulate the message so that there is no ambiguity. The last step was the what do you want to say and why, this step is the how. The best way to do this is with assertive communication, a technique to sandwich what you say.
Reflect back with the audience to ensure they have received the right message, and if they haven’t then you need to translate your message into their language.
If they have all well and good you can engage them by asking for them to respond in a particular way and then respond positively (reward) when your communication achieves the desired result.
This simple technique is covered in depth in the course write to be heard, which is free here for the month of July. Although the course focus is on written communication this technique can be applied to dialogue, presentations and even SoMe.