Own It. Don’t Moan It.

own it dont moan it

Shit happens. If nothing else is certain in life, then that is. No-one is so good at planning they never have to turn to plan B or take time out. Many of these unexpected changes are beautiful opportunities, but what happens when they are not?

What happens when that shit hits the fan? Well we really are divided into two groups of people. Both groups begin with the basic psychological protection of looking for someone or something to blame. It could be their god, their family or a random stranger. They want to know they were right. The first group will stay here, constantly looking to blame, for revenge and this makes them a victim. They display typical victim behaviours: revenge, anger and helplessness. They moan about their perceived villain, their situation and often lump everything into this situation. For example, they say things like, “it always happens like this.” Or the common, “Bad stuff always happens to me.”

The second group move past this point and accept their part in the process, even if it was random chance. This does not mean blaming themselves, that is victim behaviour, but rather objectively looking at their role in the situation, accepting things as they are and looking at their options. These people own it. They take control of the situation and more importantly they take action.

Obviously, we want to move past our own inner victim, but there is another way this thought can be useful. If you can spot someone in victim mode, then you can step away from their drama and protect yourself. Remember you can be a victim in one area but own your stuff in others and getting involved in other’s dramas is one of the most common areas we don’t take ownership. This then leads to toxic behaviour.

So next time someone seems to be harmlessly moaning, remember they are not owning it, so neither should you. More importantly though, what is it you need to own. Make this year the year you own it, not moan it.

 

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