Don’t Be Like Alan…

angry icon on mobile communication coaching

Don’t be like Alan……last week Gina Miller appeared on the BBC facing her troll, Alan. I don’t know how we got here, but we are. How someone can tell someone they wished they would die an agonising death and claim they had the moral high ground is beyond my comprehension, but it happens, a lot. Why? He claims it was because he was angry. He cited lots of social injustice he felt he had endured. Ironically, the political side of the fence Gina Miller sits on, was not the side of the fence that had led to his feelings of social injustice, but that was not the point. It was not because he was angry, he spoke to her in the way he did. He did it because he was talking to a blob on a screen.


This blob is not human, and she was facing her troll it was obvious Alan had de humanised her completely. He did not see her as a mother, boss, businesswoman, spaghetti eater or whatever it is that she does. She was just the oppressor. He justifies his tirade with platitudes, dehumanising her further for her lack of compassion. In short, he blamed her, passing all responsibility for his feelings onto her.


He did not have the right to speak to her like that, yet he felt indignant that he was being called to task.  She was not the hero for facing her troll, but he was being further oppressed. He saw it as his freedom of speech to be able to incite hatred towards another human being, because she supported an alternate political view to his. Soon though they had found common ground and were chatting away. Whilst they would never be friends, they had found themselves no longer enemies. There is a secret to this, which every influential communicator knows and uses well. Whether it is to speak up in meetings, calm an awkward customer or win over a hostile audience, this is what you do.


This is the reason why we listen to film stars instead of scientists, when it comes to health, diet, lifestyle etc. It is why we currently have a culture of experts, where anyone with an opinion and a good marketing team can suddenly steak their claim as the latest guru. It is why people can spout on about their right to freedom of speech and completely ignore the responsibility that brings with it. The responsibility not to hurt others, whether it be by spouting hate or telling them they know better than a real expert in that field.

So, what is it you need to do if you want to be a better communicator, and not flood the web with fake promises but use it for good? To take your career to the next level, to have better relationships with your colleagues, to get that new job you have applied for. To even get a better deal on your next mobile phone. You need to make it personal. It is not so much about making personal to you but make it personal to them. This is an art, that takes practice just like learning to draw. It needs fine tuning and training, but once it is mastered then you can win your team onto your side, lead with authority and get the job done, without being seen as the bad guy. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

If you want to find out how I can help you hone your skills, drop me an email or book a call.

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