Great to help Grim to martyr

dog looking for guidance great to help grim to martyr

Something recently posted on Facebook…” can we just unplug 2020 count to 30 and plug it in again?

It has been an eventful year and we are only at week 12. So far we have seen the serving of the divorce papers for the breakup between the UK and EU, a royal resignation and a poxy pandemic. If you did write it, then no publishing house would have published it.

The coronavirus has polarised society as much as Brexit did. There are those on one hand mindlessly stockpiling like contestants on supermarket sweep, and other being incredibly sweet by offering to shop, pet sit and check in on their friends…or complete strangers in some cases. It has truly warmed my heart, because it is great to help.

The downside to this though is those that take it too far. Girls, we in particular have a tendency to help too much. We can help and then over care. Put everyone else’s needs in front of our own. This does not help anyone as we quickly burn out.

It may also quickly creep up on you if you are not aware, just as it did with me recently. With the current lock down in Denmark, I am at home with a pre-schooler and my hubby has stolen my office to work from home. His work time is relatively unaffected as I gave up my needs to absorb the extra strain placed on our family. Then I realised my needs were not being met. My business is not being run…even though I have to cancel my face to face clients, the majority of my business, I still have work to do. I also have to play with my son, as my husband is working. I have to clean the home, with everyone there in the way. I am tired as my space to work has now become what was my me time. It is grim to be a martyr.

Something had to be done, and if you are tired because your needs are not being met then you need to act, before that tired becomes exhausted, then burnt out.

The first thing I did, was to stop and take stock. I decided what boundaries I needed, and how flexible they could be. Then I negotiated with my husband to make this work…we added an extra desk in the office, put a schedule in place and divided some household chores up. We compromised and allowed the little one some screen time in the morning, so I can do some work. If we had not come to find a solution quickly, this could have turned toxic.

Boundaries helped to stop me from taking on too much. If you need to review your boundaries and would like some help…book a clarity call now.

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